The ruling on establishing the practice known as "Al-Ma'tam"

Question :

What is the ruling on gathering after the burial of the deceased for a period of three days and reciting the Qur'an, which is called Al-Ma'tam (funeral ceremony)?

Answer:

Gathering in the house of the deceased to eat or drink or recite the Qur'an is an innovation. Likewise, their gathering where they offer prayer (As-Salah) for the deceased and supplicate for him (in a gathering) is also an innovation that has no support for it. The only thing that is done is that people come to the family of the deceased to offer condolences, supplicate for them, pray for mercy upon their deceased, console them and encourage them to be patient. In reference to them gathering to establish the ceremonies known as Al-Ma'tam and making specific supplications or prayers (As-Salawat) or reciting some Qur'an, then this is baseless. If it were good, our righteous Salaf (would have beaten us to it. Thus, the Messenger did not do it. When Ja'far bin Abu Talib, 'Abdullah bin Rawahah and Zaid bin Harithah were killed in the battle of Mu'tah and the revelation came to him, the Prophet informed his Companions of their death, supplicated for them and prayed for Allâh to be pleased with them. He did not gather the people nor did he establish a banquet or hold a funeral reception. All of this he did not do. Here were the best and most virtuous of his Companions (and look at what happened with them)! As-Siddiq (Abu Bakr) (died, yet they (the Companions) did not arrange Ma'tam ceremony, even though he was the best of the Companions. Umar was killed, yet they did not arrange a Ma'tam ceremony, nor did they gather the people to announce his death and recite the Qur'an for him. 'Uthman and 'Ali were both killed after that, yet the people were not gathered for any specific days after their deaths to supplicate for them, pray for mercy on them or prepare food for them.

However, it is recommended for the relatives of the deceased or his neighbors to prepare some food for the family of the deceased and send it to them. This is like what the Prophet did when the news of Ja'far's death came. He said to his family:
"Prepare some food for the family of Ja'far, for verily there has come to them that which will preoccupy them."

Thus, the families of the deceased are preoccupied with their calamity, so if food is prepared for them and sent to them, this is legislated. In reference to burdening them with a trial on top of their trial, and holding them responsible for preparing food for the people, then this is opposed to the Sunnah. Actually, it is an innovation. Jarir bin 'Abdullah Al-Bajali said: "We used to consider gathering at the house of deceased's family and (them) preparing food after the burial a part of wailing." And wailing is forbidden. It is the raising of voice, and the deceased is tormented in his grave due to the wailing that is done over him. Therefore, it is obligatory to be careful of that. In reference to crying with tears coming from the eyes, there is no harm in that. And success is from Allâh.

Source:
Ash-Shaykh Ibn
Fatawa Islamiyah, Vol. 3 Pages 121-122