The ruling on Ath-Thikra Al-Arba'iniyyah and commemorating the Deceased

Question :

What is the origin of At-Thikra Al-Arba'inigyak (gather- ing to remember the deceased on the fortieth day after his death) and is there any evidence that proves the sanctioning of commemorating the deceased (i.e., eulogies)?

Answer:

Firstly, as about its origin, it is a Pharaonic custom that used to be practiced by the people of the Pharaohs (i.e.. ancient Egyptians) before Islam. Then it spread from them and was passed on to others. It is an evil innovation that has no basis in Islam. It is rejected by what is confirmed from the Prophet's statement:
"Whoever introduces into this matter of ours that which is not of it, then it is rejected."

Secondly, eulogizing the deceased and lamenting over him in a funeral elegy in the way that it is done today, with the people gathering for it and exaggerating in praising him, is not permissible. This is due to what was recorded by Ahmad and Ibn Majah, and it was graded authentic by Al-Hakim, from 'Abdullah bin Abu Awfa who said: "The Messenger of Allâh prohibited funeral orations (i.e., eulogies)." This is due to what mentioning the characteristics of the deceased usually contains of boasting and pride, reviving people's anguish and stirring up grief and sadness. In reference to simply speaking good of him when he is mentioned or when his body is passing by (i.e., being carried to the cemetery) or for making it known who he was by mentioning his magnificent deeds and things similar to this that resemble the Companions commemorating those killed at Uhud and others, then that is allowed. This is due to what is confirmed from Anas bin Malik, who said: "They passed by a body and they spoke well of the person. So, the Prophet said:

'It is obligatory."

Then they passed by another body and they spoke ill of the person. So, the Prophet said:

'It is obligatory."

Then 'Umar replied: said: 'What is obligatory?' The Prophet
"This person whom you all mentioned with good, Paradise is obligatory for him; and this person whom you all mentioned with evil, the Fire is obligatory for him. You all are the witnesses of Allah in the earth."