My Husband Hates Me for no Reason
Question :
I am sending you this problem hoping to find a solution. In short, the cause of my problem is my husband may Allah pardon him. Although he is committed to noble manners and he fears Allah, nevertheless he never takes care of me at home. He is always putting on a gloomy face and is very short tempered. It might come to your mind that I am the cause, but Allah knows that by His Grace that I fulfill all that brings comfort and tranquility to him an leave out all that offends him. I remain sober on his indifference, and whenever I ask him anything or talked to him about any subject, then he become instantly angry and outraged and respond that I talk nonsense, and that I am. foolish. On the other hand when he is with his pals and colleagues, he is very friendly and ever smiling. This ill treatment hurts me and torture me and push me to abandon the house.
As for me, I am a woman of average education and I carry out all the duties that Allah Has ordained on me. My question to your Eminence: Will I be committing a sin if I leave the house and then take the burden of bringing up my kids, and endure all the hardships of life, or shall I remain with him under the prevailing conditions and remain silent and indifferent to his feelings and problems?
Answer:
No doubt it is obligatory upon the couple to live together honorably and to exchange all kinds of love and good manners, for Allah, Most glorified says:
"and live with them honourably."
And His saying- Glorified be He-:
"And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise."
And the Prophet saying:
"Piety is good manners".
And his saying:
"Do not look doven upon insignifrcant (M'aruf) even if you meet your brother with a smiling face".
And his saying:
"The most perfected Mu'mens are having the best manners and the best of you are the best for their women and I am the best of you for my family."
And many other Hadiths that urge the Muslims to have good. conduct and to live honorably among themselves. This is in. general, so how about couples and relatives?
You have done good by being patient and by enduring your husband ill-treatment, his harshness and his misconduct. I advise you to be more tolerant and do not abandon your house as you will receive benefit from Allah if He Wills. Allah, Glorified, be He said:
"and be patient. Surely, Allah is with those who are As-Sabirün (the patient)"
And His Words, Most glorified:
"and by performing righteous good deeds), and is patient, then surely, Allah makes not the reward of the Muhsinun (good-doers , to be lost."
And his Words Most Glorified:
"Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning."
and the Words of Him, the Almighty, the All-Powerful:
"So, be patient. Surely, the (good) end is for the Muttaqin (the pious)."
There is no objection if you joke with him, and say words which will incline his heart and cause him to be happy in your company, and make him aware of your right. And you should avoid asking for material things, as long as he fulfills the important obligations, so that his heart will be opened and his breast will be expanded towards your important requests, and you will welcome the outcome, Allah Willing. May Allah grant you success in achieving an increase in every good thing and improve your husband's situation, and inspire him with good conduct and grant him good character, good nature and careing for the rights (of others). Verily, He is the One Who is asked and He is the Guide to the Straight Path.
Source:
Ibn Baz
Fatawa Islamiyah, Vol. 5 Pages 372-373-374-375